changed my main blog to txt posts!!!

follow for the funnies!!!

dickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick:

dickdickdickdickdickdickdickdick:

person: will you be my girlfriend?

me:

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svveden:

ohmygil:

blastortoise:

nxte:

svveden:

svveden:

i’m starting a band called 999mb

we haven’t had a gig yet

there’s 1024 mb in a gig you’re doing it wrong

shut up nerd

they still don’t have a gig yet

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“mommy, can I-“

“not unless u get 100000 notes on a post, honey”

wonderingaboutfandoms:

letyourjourneystart:

According to chemistry, alcohol IS a solution.

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greypoppies:

I want to do things with my life but I also want to bury myself in a forest and let the moss grow over me so where does that leave us

altairspants:

"i dont like short hair on girls" yeah well i dont like short dicks on guys but here u are

allonsyforever:

One time this boy in my math class ate an eraser

it was last week

i am seventeen years old

the class was A.P. calculus

snorlaxatives:

markwhiteisgay:

snorlaxatives:

live fast

die young

bad squirrels do it well

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This is so relevant right now

how can this post be relevant to any situation in life i’m genuinely curious 

ka-kawgoodsir:

"ur eyeliner is 2 thick"

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livelovehep:

sunalwaysshining:

meladoodle:

what if guys came coffee… i’ll have one ejaculatte please

I just spit out my coffee

You’re supposed to swallow it

tylenold:

it’s not you’re* or your*. it’s all Mine. everything is Mine

oomshi:

is meth a carb

jakemalik:

I respect those people who get a lot done on their days off cause I am the absolute opposite and do nothing all day whenever I can